in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
