As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
