I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
