Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
