I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
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drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
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Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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