i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
