yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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