This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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