Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
