I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
