i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
