Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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