Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
