Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
