I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
