They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
