it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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