I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
