let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
