Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
