You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
