Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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