I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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