My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
