I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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