Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We're too hungover to prance.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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