Define "chronic" masturbator.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
