Whod you bang
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
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I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
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I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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