If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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