if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
