So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just cropdusted the office
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
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