New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
we should paint friendship bongs
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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