Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
