thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
