Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
