Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
