On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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