When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
