C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
