I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize