your parents love me but you hate me
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
