my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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