I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
