My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
