Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Houston, we have a blender
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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