Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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