I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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