i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
