He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
