I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
