More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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