Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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