You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
