I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
