turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
