This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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