I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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