didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
