You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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