She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
