Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
